been feeling weird since yesterday. today it's stronger. it's a feeling like being waist or chest or neck deep in water or liquid thicker than water. and it felt like it was going to seep right inside of me through my pores. a sedated feeling in mind and in body.
it's good though, because i know what it is and it's the most lucid i've ever felt while feeling heavily sedated. even more unusual, i am not actually moving or thinking slowly.
i said it felt like i was being scanned at one point because it felt like a waveswell passing over the spot i'm on, only it failed to momentarily rise my feet from the floor the way a wave does.
instead it felt more like i was absorbing it as it passed, not over or around but through me.
then i turned on star trek enterprise and felt my heart rate drop, i hadn't known it was up. i always relax when i switch on enterprise, deep space nine, tos and everything else, from picard to strange new worlds.
that wasn't really necessary to share. epecially because in that episode i turned on, guess what it showed? that the ship got scanned! it doesn't happen every episode. on all of them you will not see a ship scanning or being scanned in every episode. it's not common. so, sync!
high volume intensity light rays have been continually pounding us, or for myself, it's felt like a pounding. as per keleena malnar, whose work you can find on her youtube channel in her name.
she goes into detail regarding the light rays and symptoms they're causing. the title of the particular post is, "evolution with body pain light language and lion's gate." she gives context to what i've been trying to describe.
the "scan" did something to me. the thing i've been long aware of, that i've known i needed to fix , my hair trigger, to anger, to offense, to feeling oversensitive. i have prayed, begged, meditated and studied all kinds of techniques trying to quell it, all to no avail, until the scan. today though, i think after the scan for sure, but heck, yesterday too, all the usual annoyances and inconveniences just did not feel worth the bother.
normally when that roll gets started there's no slowing it, but i not only slowed it, i stopped it. like a skateboarder going from hardened concrete to wet. board stops, skater goes. flying.
that's me, shedding that hair trigger.