what they, he, she don't know won't hurt them. what they don't know won't hurt them?
i've heard that term my whole life even before i knew the words or what they meant. I felt the phrase to be, dubious. you know when we're kids we're taught to be truthful. it made some things really contradictory.
i think i knew what a white lie was and the phrase, do as i say, not as i do, before i knew the definition of dubious. caveats! the escape door. i got the feeling though, and it made me question the motives of all afults, in my childish way.
i wonder if people had those grownups who acted one way in front of people and differently when they got you alone. of course people did. silly question. a serious question is, how many?
as i wrote that two words kept leaping to the fore trying o intrude. i didn't allow them in then but now i will, with context. they are trapped and captive.
honestly,it isn't confined to being forced to be alone with some adult devoid of scruples that can't keep their hands to themseves; it's also about those grown ups who have a really sharp tongue they can't wait to slice you to ribbons with as soon as no one's around to hear it and catch them at it. how would that look? why eviscerate a child? reasons i never fully understood, even as an adult. except that it was mixed up in jealousy about my mother and adult concerns i had no concept of. people are weird.
isn't that rotten? to attack a child, or adult even, away from responsible ears. what is that? what kind of bs is that? even as a child and only easily manipulateanle due to the unfair balance of power that exists between children and adults.
let's face it, when you're a kid, you and your concerns are easily dismissed and reduced to frivolity and foolishness. at least, that was my experience. not all, not with every one, but it was prevailing. regardless; what the hell, adults? talking out of both sides of your mouths. why did they expect to be obeyed unquestionably?
kids are not idiots; that's my point! well, sometimes they are, but who isn't? hardly anyone is always level headed. but anyway, the kids. they often have more going on in those little heads than we give them credit for. i almost said we as if i'm still one myself. inordinate window! i'm not bothered by it.
given all i've said, is what fill in the blank doesn't know won't hurt them still a good thing to perpetuate? it's patently false.
not that i've had any, only been one, but i feel like i remember so clearly. as if the kid i was is me still. i see there's a protective element to use the phrase, like if you're a parent or have someone you really want to sheild. you want to sheild your loved ones from the slings and arrows.
i'll submit that the premise is flawed, for the reasons i listed above. too much touchy feely and meanness unleached. again, without younguns of my own i realize my opine is auto unimportant. i'm gonna go ahead and say, if you're going to institute an honesty is the best policy ploicy for the kids, you need to understand that you need to adhere to it otherwise, they might grow up and out from under the wings and influence of the parentals. the memory of being fed falsehoods early might tend to be recalled and if they're like me they might take a wtf? view on the withholding of truth in order to pacify or put aside truth for expediency as a betrayal.
note: the recollection hasn't resulted in any confrontations on the matter, nor has tgere been a mention prior to now. it just reminded me of my own feelings about the double standard so blatently applied in the past. it merely made me look differently at that they said it. this is me reflecting upon my own memories and not to be taken as a generalization. i may have too much time to think. granted.
i've noticed a lot of times, we'll say we do things for the sake of the children, when really, we adults, we're the ones that get scared or freaked out by things.
it may not seem like it, but this really isn't all about just coming down on people. rather, it's about digging into motiva, trying to resolve the way things were for myself. to heal, not excuse. just the fact. i do know how it comes off. sorry. gut it. we often turn and run when it's a choice between bald honesty and hiding the inconvenient truth, or fear. of how it will sound, or that it will scare. of how thevtruth will effect the person they're trying to protect. of how they'll react to the truth. the truth of what we've done.
in that, if not for full on excuses, but reasons, they felt the best option was to lie. guilt at the underlying reason for doing so being, in reality,being upset at themself. buried deep within programming that falls under the heading, this is the way things have always been done, or, this's the way we've always raised kids. and evaded blame for keeping some things vague or outright untrue for self protection.
not sure that's gonna fly going forward. why? the kids! the ones being born, watch out. i know the temptation to lie or embellish exists, so's not to deal with something or other, but ultimately to evade dealing with the truth.
i'm feeling like it's of paramount importance to resist that in a way i was never motivated to before and it's just me. i don't have to come under the microscopic eye of anyone else. that'd take even more work, so, respect to those that take that on.