today was one of those days where i did a lot of drop everything meditation and deep breathing, slow breathing. not a whole lot was happening. i was doing some frustrating work, but it really wasn't the cause of my needing to do the calming exercises. i just kept feeling my emotions trying to slide out of control. it's funny, i never feel the need to extra breathe or meditate if i feel happy. there been a number of times today where that happened too.
i always think first that what i'm feeling originates with me. It takes a minute to realize it's absorption, it's empathy and it's getting stronger all the time. it's it's not just me either. it's evident it's happening to a lot of us and we may not know what's happening but it's gotta be ovwhelming regardless if how we're experiencing is escalating to a feverish pitch.
one of those times i was sitting on my deck and watching squirrels eat the nuts i put out, because it's calming you see. i love looking at the clouds and they were speaking to me. they took on a sea like tone in color and vaguely shapes. at one point these oval shapes showed up and they gave me the impression of paper thin slices, thinner because they were kind of transparent but that was all i got about them. for now.
the clouds morphed into a raging current I know it started out ocean but it started looking more like a river or maybe some ocean pass through a rocky strait.
then there started to form a rectangle shape? structure? in the center of the roughly rolling flow they gradually crystallize into a building one populated by people. us all.
the building was topped with an enormous gold colored globe. it reminded me of a nikola tesla era electricity drawing device, to attract lightning and power the building. the building resolved into a very normal white color, the gold and the white colors seen for the first time in this impression of mine. so that was exciting.
the last thing i got from the cirrus scene was the building straining to stay upright and in an effort to adapt, it began to move in the crashing white crested peaks of the water. allowing itself to be drawn in the flow rather than resisting. signifying to me that the building held all of us, us and beyond, meaning beyond the states, but mainly for us because a storm for real has begun. i don"t know if a reader's aware of this, but right now the foreboding forecast of a storm gathering on the as yet unseen horizon is coming to get us if we don't, shat? watch out? change our ways? nothing as concrete as that. just the idea that a storm is coming or else. or something.
all the while ignoring the actual bibiblical floods, fires, earthquakes and all. that are happening. the movement of the building in the raging waters, i feel like represents a coming together in a crisis. a unification driven by the understanding that the problems we have with each other are a distraction from the powerful forces that want to overwhelm us. the only antidote is for us to grow an appreciation for each other and to see and learn the benefits of the diversity that is there amongst us. to learn those things we don't know and can benefit from learning of and from.